I pray, O God, that I may know you and love you,
so that I may rejoice in you.
And if I cannot do so fully in this life
may I progress gradually until it comes to fullness.
Let the knowledge of you grow in me here [on earth],
and there [in heaven] be made complete;
Let your love grow in me here
and there be made complete,
so that here my joy may be great in hope,
and there be complete in reality.
Lord, by your Son, you command, or rather, counsel us to ask
and you promise that we shall receive
so that our “joy may be complete”.
I ask, Lord, as you counsel through our admirable Counselor.
May I receive what you promise through your truth so that my “joy may be complete”.
Until then let my mind meditate on it,
let my tongue speak of it,
let my heart love it,
let my mouth preach it.
Let my soul hunger for it,
let my flesh thirst for it,
my whole being desire it,
until I enter into the “joy of the Lord”,
who is God, Three in One, “blessed forever. Amen”.
-Anselm of Canterbury
Today, our pastor preached on loving God's Word. He spoke of God's truth as our standard and how we know we love it if we trust it, obey it, and treasure it deeply. And then, he wrapped up the message with a simple question. Where are you lacking?
I lack trust. When I am convicted, obedience feels difficult but necessary. When I read God's Word and it strikes something within me, I hold it so closely. But when I look into Scripture and see something difficult, I really struggle to trust God's character. Even this morning, I was continuing my time in the Psalms and I came across one heavy with violence. I kept rushing past the words because I didn't really want to know what God meant there. As I listened this morning, I knew God was challenging me to trust his Word. I often look at Scripture through my lens, testing it against my standards and convictions. I haven't realized that's what I've been doing, but it's been my habit. Inadvertently, I'm picking and choosing what is truth.
If we love God, we love his Word. I'm reading these words of Anselm's tonight, and I agree with so much of the sentiment. Yes, let me know and love you, God, so that I may rejoice in you. I want to know you and grow in you. But I haven't felt that way about the Bible. Somehow, I've disconnected you and your Word. So again, Anselm's words draw me to the mindset I need tonight.
May I receive your truth God, so that I may know your joy completely. Though my joy won't be fully complete until I meet you again, let me spend this time meditating on your truth. Let me speak it, let me teach it, let me really love it. Because at this point, I don't. I don't love it. I want to know you, though - all of you. Knowing you means knowing and ingesting your Word. So let me whole being desire you.
Amen.