Today is my husband's birthday. I'd love to write about him, but, of course, he is not a woman. Instead, I'd love to share some lessons I've learned from the woman who raised Reed and instilled in him so much of the character that I love today.
27 years ago, Peg Lyons became a mom for the first time. She raised three incredible kids, worked hard, loved her husband, and served God steadily. And she still does all of this, though her kids are mostly grown up. She loves people sincerely, and I've been privileged to be in the circle of those she cares for most. She is super-woman in many ways; she is my mother-in-law, the best one I could have hoped for.
A lot of movies and TV shows prepare you for the worst when it comes to in-laws. If you've every watched Everybody Loves Raymond, you understand these stereotypes. When I met my husband, I had little idea of the family I was stepping into. I met them all five years ago. It was Christmas break of my junior year, and I was nervous. What I remember most about Mom Lyons is her immediate acceptance of me. I was family from day one. Part of me is thankful it worked out with Reed because I would have hated saying good bye to this family.
Over the years of knowing Peg and seeing her as my other mom, I've learned three great lessons.
1. Crying is good
These days, being home often means a lot of time around the table. When we go home to the Lyons', we spend time eating together, talking, and playing lots of games at the kitchen table. One of my favorite parts of time together is Mom's sincere emotions. As her kids, we often laugh a little at the tears that come when we're praying over the meal. She's just so happy to have us all together, and it visibly shows. Her tears can come during prayer or reading a kind card or listening to a story about a loved one. Whatever the reason, we love her tears and know that she is completely genuine in her feelings for people.
My favorite crying memory with Mom happened earlier this year. This summer, Reed and I were home for a weekend. Reed and his dad were both gone for an evening, so Mom and I had an evening together. We made the very naive decision to watch The Fault in Our Stars and both ended up in pools of heavy tears. We were pulling napkins and tissues out of our purses all evening.
I've learned that tears are good. Mom had modeled sincerity for us in the way she cries. Her tears often mean joy and contentment, but they have also modeled the way to grieve. She is loving and honest before us.
2. Want to love people? Open your home.
Ask anyone - Peg is one of the most hospitable people you'll encounter. She's not Julia Child or Martha Steward, but she exudes that welcoming spirit. Her home is often open to friends and family needing a place to stay before flying out of O'Hare, and it's been a refuge over the years for her kids and their friends. I've learned that you don't have to cook amazing meals or hand make your curtains to let people feel at home. Mom has shown me how to be at ease with people in your home - how to make them feel loved and valued when they walk in the door. And I will say, though she's no Pinterest queen, she did surprise us all by crocheting herself a scarf! Amazing.
3. Little recognition doesn't mean little impact.
Peg is an understated, humble woman. She loves people well and strives to loves Jesus daily, and it is enough for her. Like many working, busy, multi-tasking women, she does much for little recognition. A nurse by trade and by heart, she lives to care for people. It is what she's good at. But it's also her gifting.
I've seen Mom love and give of herself every day I've known her. In those five years, I've never seen her discontent. I am drawn to her because she models Christ's heart in so many ways. And though she may not get acknowledged for all she does, she is not without influence. I know this because I know the kids she raised. Her children have all picked up some of their mom's traits, and most vividly, they are people who love well. They are each hospitable and humble people by nature. I've also seen Mom's impact on her friends and the people she works with. Recently, the Lyons family experienced great loss when Granny, Peg's mom, went home to Jesus. The community that surrounded the Lyons family in those days of mourning was incredible. I saw church family, work friends, old acquaintances, and so many others rally around Mom and her family. In those difficult first days of losing Granny, I was amazed by the people who'd been impacted by Peg and were coming to support her.
Today, I'm especially thankful for my mom-in-law. She showers Reed and I with prayer, encouragement, and support, and I know she does the same with some many others. I'm thankful for her love for Jesus and for Dad. I'm thankful for the lessons she's taught me about loving additions to a family and for her affirmation as I walked in the Lyons home. So Happy Birthday to Reed - thanks for having a great mom and for being a lot like her.