“Of all the needs (there are none imaginary) a
lonely child has, the one that must be satisfied, if there is going to be hope
and a hope of wholeness, is the unshaking need for an unshakable God. My pretty
Black brother was my Kingdom Come.”
― Maya
Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Loneliness is a scary thing. It is frustrating and sad, and
it breeds insecurity like nothing else. I remember reading this book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, in high
school and understanding loneliness in a new way. We’d been given the option to
pick our next reading assignment, and I chose Maya Angelou. I was sitting in a
high school classroom in Arkansas reading
about Angelou’s life in the same state. It was challenging and beneficial for
me to read of the mistreatment and isolation she experienced. I remember
feeling very small as I read her memoir – like I knew very little of the big
world around me and the people within it.
I loved that book. I loved Angelou’s poetry and humor – her
passion and richness as she wrote. I started thinking about her book today, and
I came across the quote above. When I read this in high school, these words
didn’t stand out at all. Today, as I searched for poignant thoughts, these
stopped me. These words are today’s words.
Most of today was spent with two small, funny babies and
some very good friends. One good friend is Mom to the twin girls and the other
friend put the whole birthday party together. It was a day of celebration,
laughter, and contentment. It was a good day.
It was one of those days that felt full in the best sense.
There were people all around – some I knew well and some that were new faces.
There was so much activity and chatter and bumping into small children. And
there was laughter. Good amounts of it. So much so that I nearly peed my pants.
Seriously. It was tears rolling down my face, eyes squinting so hard I can’t
see, running to the bathroom laughter.
After all the birthday guests cleared out and we settled in
with just a few close family and friends, I thought of how good the day was. I
felt so at rest with these people, so unlonely. I felt close to those in the
room and close to Jesus.
As lonely people, it is easy to lose sight of hope. It is
easy to hold on to false hope and false reassurances. We need something more,
though. As Angelou said, we need “an unshakable God”, which often is revealed
in his people. Sometimes He’s in our family and we feel at ease, at home.
Sometimes it’s with close friends that we feel at rest. And sometimes, it’s in
the cleaning up of birthday cake and cheerios that we know God is present in
our lives.
I ended the night perusing Target with these two close
friends of mine and was reminded how precious a thing it is to call people “friends”.
I am loved, and I’m entrusted to love. I am thankful for this opportunity. I
will value the relationships I’ve been given; I will seek to draw others out of
loneliness and into hope.
Tonight, I’m content.
I am resting in God’s provision of relationships – true,
deep, enriching ones.