In 2009, Julie taught me to live vulnerably, especially with
people I didn’t naturally connect to. I was a Resident Assistant; she was my
Resident Director. We came into the year knowing very little of each other, but
that year began a rich friendship. As my RD, Julie also served as my mentor. We
met weekly and talked over the activity in the dorm, developing relationships
(she experienced lots of Reed-talk in those days), and what God was doing in my
life. For much of that fall semester, I struggled to connect with people whose
personalities clashed with mine. I found myself just ignoring them or holding
them at a distance instead of working through any difficulties. Julie taught me
to see people with God’s empathy and love – to see them as valuable and essential
to my life because of our
differences. My years as an RA would have been far grumpier if it hadn’t been
for her investment in me that first year.
In 2010, Julie taught me how to trust God’s gifts. The
summer before my senior year of college, I’d been struggling. My
boyfriend-now-husband left to work in California for the year. My summer was a
spiritual, emotional mess, and I did not trust God well. I was unsure what my
senior year would look like – financially, emotionally, relationally. In the middle
of all that insecurity and uncertainty, Julie asked me to have lunch. We went
to Thai food, something we still do often, and she began to speak words of
hope. Julie had stepped into a new role as Director of Student Life, and it had
come about that they needed a student to fill a more substantial role for the
year. She affirmed my abilities and my character that day, asking me to take on
more responsibility and leadership. I was baffled. But I was so thankful. That
day, we spent time talking about my struggle to trust God’s work in my life,
and all the while, he was working. In spite of my uncertainty, God was
faithful. Julie was a huge part of God’s assurance in that.
In 2011, she taught me what it means to love your friends
well. I got married in September that year, and our wedding day was a crazy
one. The outdoor wedding that everyone tells you not to have got rained on. Of
course. So the morning of our wedding, our friends and family rallied around us
to help make our day come together. It was one of the most memorable days of my
life – not only because it was my wedding day, but also because it was the day
I felt most loved. Julie and her husband, Travis, were integral parts of that
day. Travis almost single-handedly rebuilt our wooden platform, as well as
served as an usher. Julie helped with
various details throughout the day, constantly finding ways to serve us. We
also found out that they stayed late after the wedding was done to help clean
up. We will always be grateful for their love for us that day, and I have
learned much from that example of friendship.
In 2012, Julie taught me how to continue friendships outside
of college. I had started a new job right after graduation, and she had
transitioned into her Director role recently. Our situations looked
differently, but she made a conscious effort to continue developing our
friendship. We met occasionally over hot drinks, catching up and talking about
good books we were reading. That year was a quieter one for our relationship,
but it allowed me to see the steadiness of a good friend.
In 2013, I faced the loss of our unborn baby. Julie, because
of some special circumstances, was the only person outside of Reed who knew I
was pregnant before the miscarriage. When I shared the loss with her, she was
incredible. She mourned with me and let me grieve. She prayed for me and
reminded me of God’s faithfulness. That same year, I came back to my alma mater
and took a job as a Resident Director. Not only was I in the same position
Julie had been when we met, but I was living in that same apartment. It was so
funny to think that because of this woman’s influence and investment in my
life, I was stepping into some of her footprints. I felt so privileged to do
so, and I was excited to work under her leadership again.
In 2014, I continued to learn from Julie. We met regularly
much of that year, and those days were some of my favorite in our relationship.
We’d sit down at the coffee shop and in a couple hours we’d cover everything
from Timothy Keller sermons to women’s roles to academics. Our times were rich
and significant, often leaving me thinking and drawing closer to God. She
became a mom this year, too, and I saw the beginning of a woman being fully who
God created her to be. She was wife, mom, student, leader, worker, friend. She
stepped into this new phase with grace and humility, and I took so much
encouragement from watching her.
I know Julie will teach me more this year. She does not go
around imparting wisdom to others for the sake of seeming important, but her
character just reflects God’s teaching. Today, on her birthday, I’m thanking
God for Julie’s life. I’m thankful for her trust in him and her faithfulness to
his calling. And I’m thankful to be her friend along the way.